By My Bedside

She snoozed the alarm. But she knew that the other alarm was on her way to her room. Nylie came in and walked around like she owned the place. She was always so fresh in the morning. Something that Sasha liked and hated. Then, as was tradition, Nylie jumped on Sasha's bed. Then she licked her face.

"No Nylie..stop...," groaned Sasha. But Nylie wouldn't. She jumped on the sheets and sniffed Sasha's groggy face. Then she rubbed her wet nose on Sasha's cheeks. "Alright okayyy...I'm up," said Sasha.

There was nothing new about that day. Sasha went to work, met her friends and came back home.


There was nothing extraordinary about that day.


The next day however, there was something different. But Sasha didn't notice it.


She didn't notice it the next day either. When she did, a week had passed.

Nylie entered her room but did not jump on her bed. She settled herself on Sasha's bean bag, rested her golden head on it and looked at Sasha. She only looked.

Sasha woke up that morning. For a week now, her second alarm did not wake her up. She looked over at Nylie. "What's up baby....are you feeling okay?" Nylie looked up, tilted her head like she always did when she was spoken to, and continued to look at Sasha.

After breakfast, while getting ready, Sasha kept looking at Nylie, wondering what was up with her. Maybe she's not feeling well. She'll be fine...I guess.

Weekend.Nylie followed Sasha around like a lost pup. "She's forgotten her mom," said Sasha's mother. "She's stopped following me around."

Sasha got slightly worried.
"I don't know what's up with Nylie. She's been acting strange for a week. You think she's sick mom?"
"I don't think so. She's eating fine, sleeping fine. She doesn't have a fever.."
"But she's been looking a little morose. She doesn't stop following me. Is she depressed?"
"Does that happen to dogs?"
"I don't know. Is there any reason for her to be depressed?"
"Maybe you should spend more  time with her, Sasha. Take her out for a walk more often."
"Hmmm..yeah. Alright."

Sasha felt a little light headed that day. She still decided to take Nylie for a walk. But Nylie did not want to go for an extra walk after dinner. She sat in her bed and resumed staring at Sasha. These days she only stared.

Two weeks. Nylie hadn't chased any pigeons in two weeks.
She only chased Sasha around. Sasha bundled up her dog and sat with her in her bed. She spent a lot of her time these days patting, talking, kissing, cuddling Nylie. But Nylie's reciprocation of love was no match to Sasha's. Whenever she could, she would rest her head on Sasha's knees, run herself against her. She mourned when Sasha left the house to go to work.
She mourned when Sasha fell sick and puked.
When Sasha went to meet her friends.
When Sasha went to the bathroom.
She mourned whenever Sasha was out of sight.

"I've checked her. She seems to be in perfect health. She's not really depressed. Internally, there's nothing wrong with her," assured the doctor.
"Why has she suddenly become so insecure of me?"
"Dogs move in packs and elect a leader on their own. Sometimes they may even change their idea of the leader. She, I think, has changed who she thinks is the leader. First it was your mom, now it's you."
"But why?"
"Dogs have a strong sixth sense. There must be something related to you that she now thinks is leader-like..."

As an after thought, the doctor also said, "Sometimes dogs also assume themselves as the leader of the pack. They therefore consider it their duty to protect people of their clan. In that case, she's simply looking out for you."

Another week passed by.

Yesterday Sasha felt light headed again. Nylie went in and out of her room the whole day.

Today, however, everything changed.
Today Sasha sat in the bathroom for a long time. Nylie stood outside the door. Both cried together.



That evening, Sasha made up her mind. She knew what was to be done.
-----------------------------
She didn't need anybody else to come with her. No one knew. There was only one person who did, and it was she who accompanied Sasha. Somehow, no one questioned why a dog was in the hospital.

Sasha looked up at the ceiling, feeling peaceful. She wasn't carrying any weight around--emotional and physical. The problem was aborted. She was free. All attachments were severed. She knew her mind. She finally knew her mind.

Tonight Nylie slept in Sasha's bed. Sasha stroked her beautiful golden head and felt comforted and secure. She knew those feelings were mutual. Two days had passed since the hospital visit.

Nylie hadn't mourned in two days.