By My Bedside

She snoozed the alarm. But she knew that the other alarm was on her way to her room. Nylie came in and walked around like she owned the place. She was always so fresh in the morning. Something that Sasha liked and hated. Then, as was tradition, Nylie jumped on Sasha's bed. Then she licked her face.

"No Nylie..stop...," groaned Sasha. But Nylie wouldn't. She jumped on the sheets and sniffed Sasha's groggy face. Then she rubbed her wet nose on Sasha's cheeks. "Alright okayyy...I'm up," said Sasha.

There was nothing new about that day. Sasha went to work, met her friends and came back home.


There was nothing extraordinary about that day.


The next day however, there was something different. But Sasha didn't notice it.


She didn't notice it the next day either. When she did, a week had passed.

Nylie entered her room but did not jump on her bed. She settled herself on Sasha's bean bag, rested her golden head on it and looked at Sasha. She only looked.

Sasha woke up that morning. For a week now, her second alarm did not wake her up. She looked over at Nylie. "What's up baby....are you feeling okay?" Nylie looked up, tilted her head like she always did when she was spoken to, and continued to look at Sasha.

After breakfast, while getting ready, Sasha kept looking at Nylie, wondering what was up with her. Maybe she's not feeling well. She'll be fine...I guess.

Weekend.Nylie followed Sasha around like a lost pup. "She's forgotten her mom," said Sasha's mother. "She's stopped following me around."

Sasha got slightly worried.
"I don't know what's up with Nylie. She's been acting strange for a week. You think she's sick mom?"
"I don't think so. She's eating fine, sleeping fine. She doesn't have a fever.."
"But she's been looking a little morose. She doesn't stop following me. Is she depressed?"
"Does that happen to dogs?"
"I don't know. Is there any reason for her to be depressed?"
"Maybe you should spend more  time with her, Sasha. Take her out for a walk more often."
"Hmmm..yeah. Alright."

Sasha felt a little light headed that day. She still decided to take Nylie for a walk. But Nylie did not want to go for an extra walk after dinner. She sat in her bed and resumed staring at Sasha. These days she only stared.

Two weeks. Nylie hadn't chased any pigeons in two weeks.
She only chased Sasha around. Sasha bundled up her dog and sat with her in her bed. She spent a lot of her time these days patting, talking, kissing, cuddling Nylie. But Nylie's reciprocation of love was no match to Sasha's. Whenever she could, she would rest her head on Sasha's knees, run herself against her. She mourned when Sasha left the house to go to work.
She mourned when Sasha fell sick and puked.
When Sasha went to meet her friends.
When Sasha went to the bathroom.
She mourned whenever Sasha was out of sight.

"I've checked her. She seems to be in perfect health. She's not really depressed. Internally, there's nothing wrong with her," assured the doctor.
"Why has she suddenly become so insecure of me?"
"Dogs move in packs and elect a leader on their own. Sometimes they may even change their idea of the leader. She, I think, has changed who she thinks is the leader. First it was your mom, now it's you."
"But why?"
"Dogs have a strong sixth sense. There must be something related to you that she now thinks is leader-like..."

As an after thought, the doctor also said, "Sometimes dogs also assume themselves as the leader of the pack. They therefore consider it their duty to protect people of their clan. In that case, she's simply looking out for you."

Another week passed by.

Yesterday Sasha felt light headed again. Nylie went in and out of her room the whole day.

Today, however, everything changed.
Today Sasha sat in the bathroom for a long time. Nylie stood outside the door. Both cried together.



That evening, Sasha made up her mind. She knew what was to be done.
-----------------------------
She didn't need anybody else to come with her. No one knew. There was only one person who did, and it was she who accompanied Sasha. Somehow, no one questioned why a dog was in the hospital.

Sasha looked up at the ceiling, feeling peaceful. She wasn't carrying any weight around--emotional and physical. The problem was aborted. She was free. All attachments were severed. She knew her mind. She finally knew her mind.

Tonight Nylie slept in Sasha's bed. Sasha stroked her beautiful golden head and felt comforted and secure. She knew those feelings were mutual. Two days had passed since the hospital visit.

Nylie hadn't mourned in two days.

Come fly with me

She settled herself on the seat and looked in front. She really wasn't looking forward to this journey. 9 hours on the flight. Kill me, she thought. If only I had remembered to keep my sleeping pills handy.

People started filling in slowly. She prayed that the seat next to her remains empty. Just then a man in semi formals sat next to her. He half smiled at her. Dead, she thought.
--------
She finished the breakfast and looked outside the window. The man next to her shifted in his seat. He's going to start a conversation, she thought. Somehow, she always knew when people wanted to start talking. Somehow, everyone seemed to want to talk to her. Somehow, she didn't understand why.

"So, your first time in London?" he asked.
"Second. Yours?" she asked
"I visit London every year. My family is settled there."
"Hmmm.."
"By the way, I am Mark."
"Uma.."
They shake hands.
"So what do you do?"
"I'm an accountant. Just visiting some friends in London. How about you?"
"I have an export business.. So do you like your job?"
"Well....it's alright..." she said trailing off. This was her least favourite topic of discussion. An accountant was the last thing she ever wanted to be.
"Good for you. I'm not that crazy about my work."
"You have your own business. Doesn't that keep you on your toes?"
"It's a family business....."
She wanted to tell him to say no more. She got the point. He didn't add to his either.
They sat in silence for a while. Think I should continue the conversation? He started it so....

"So, work brings you to India?"
"Oh, I am an Indian. I'm a half and half. My mom's British, my dad's Indian. I spend most of my time in India."
"Oh, interesting. ."
----
She fell in and out of sleep for an hour. She felt that Mark too was having trouble sleeping. Finally she gave up trying to sleep and opened her eyes. She saw him looking at her. He smiled, embarrassed, and said, "I find it quite difficult to sleep on the plane."
"Me too."
They smiled.
"What do you do apart from work?", he asked.
"Well...I like reading.."
"Really? What kind?"
"Ohh you wouldn't be interested.."
"No no..tell me!"
"Classics..mostly drama."
He sat up straight and looked at her bright eyed.
"Go on..." He said
"A lot of people think its cliched but I like Shakespeare.."
"How lovely. Me too.."
She smiled and looked in a distance and said..

"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frests his hour upon the stage, and then is..."

She turned around to face him, since he started reciting the lines along with her

"....heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

They laughed.
"That's one of my favorite lines.." said Uma.
"Same.." he said.
-------------------
"So what kind of music do you listen to" he asked.
"Rock and roll" said Uma.
"To say the least, we both seem to share the same interests," said Mark.
"Let's see then. Your favourite band?"
"The rolling stones. You?"
"Haha.. Would you believe it if I said the same!"
"I grew up listening to them.."
"In fact, that was the first time I came to London. In 2007 to watch their A Bigger Bang concert!"
"Really!?! I was there too!"
They both laughed again. And it gets interesting, thought Uma.
"For all you know, we might have met during the concert back in 2007.." said she.
"Believe me, you'd have remembered me if you had met me. I was the weirdest looking adolescent. I was difficult to miss..." said Mark.
"Haha.. We all looked silly back then.."
"Nah, I was exceptionally silly.."
"You know what was actually 'exceptional' about that concert..?"
"The digital representation of the Big Bang?"
"Hahahah...exactly!"
----
How many spoons of sugar?
One spoon, no milk, thought Mark
"One spoon, no milk," she said.


2 spoons, decaf with peanuts, thought Uma.
"2 spoons, decaf. Would you have some salted peanuts too?" he said
"Sure sir," said the stewardess.
---------

"So..I write too, sometimes," said Uma.
"Poetry?"
"How do you know that?"
"At this point, I feel I already know a lot about you. You basically seem to like everything I like!"
"You write poetry too?"
"Yup."
"Crazy...no wait. I've been writing since I was 9."
"I started when I was 11."
"Do you still write?"
"No, but when I do get the time, I scribble sometimes.."
"Haiku.."
"How did you know?"
"At this point, I feel I already know a lot about you...."
"Hahaha.."
--------
"Do you have a rash? Your neck is all red.." he said.
"Oh it'll go..."
"Urticaria?"
"Hmmm..."
"Happens with old woolens right?"
He smiled. Can it be?..., he thought.
------------
"Nice tattoo.." said Mark.
"Thanks...Ah.. it's a flower," she said, half looking at her wrist.
"Nice. Looked like some wonky writing at first..."
She looked at him. He looked back mischievously. She smiled, embarrassed. Then they turned away.
--------
"We're going to land in half an hour..." said Uma.
"Ummhmmm.."
"You're going to start panicking now, aren't you?"
I must be mad, she thought. This guess work is too specific. Am I getting too hopeful?
He looked at her, intently.
Then he smiled, nodded and looked away.
"You already know a lot," said Mark.
"I think I know why.." whispered Uma.
She wasn't sure if Mark heard that.
-----
"You know the hardest part about a long plane ride?" said Uma.
"No internet?" said Mark.
"Yeah. Can't check my mails...or Facebook..."
"Blogs, comments and unfinished conversations...." finished Mark.
Ah well, time's up, they thought.

------

"So..you're a professional writer huh..", said Mark.
"Just as much as you are a painter."
"It is my hobby..!"
"Writing is my hobby too! Anyway, I'm glad we brought up Shakespeare."
"Nah, it was Rolling Stones that did it."
"Oh yes, and that reminds me. So you WERE there at the concert in London! Why didn't you tell me!"
"I told you, I was an awkward looking youth. I didn't want to sabotage my chances with you.."
"So who was that guy who's picture you sent me?'
"Haha..I don't know him. He was some abercrombie model."
"What! So I have been chatting with someone else all these years!"
"Haha. It was just a different face, but it was me all along!
"I can't believe it.." said Uma half amused, half shocked. "I thought I was friends with the hottest guy in the world.."
"Actually, you're no better! What about the 'flower tattoo' and the fact that you're 5' 9". The tattoo was originally the name of your ex boyfriend written in Chinese, I figured that out much later. I had to zoom and scan and what not to figure that out! Haha. And madam, as far as I see it, you are most certainly a 5 feet nothing!"
They laughed for a bit and went quiet. The announcement about the landing echoed inside the plane.
-------------------
"It's been 9 years Mark. Nine years of finding you on a poetry site and talking to you. It feels surreal to be sitting next to you."
"Well...one can safely say that the world is small.."
"Yes..."
"It's been nice knowing you there.."
"Yes, same here. Quite frankly, I can't do without our conversations."
"Come to think of it, would it have mattered if we hadn't met..."
"Not to me. For the first time, reality is rather dull, eh?"


They went quiet. Lost in thought, Uma looked outside the window. Then a thought crossed her mind that gave her worry.
Looking back at Mark, she said, "You know, we did lie to each other a lot about how we look.."
"But we were truthful about who we really are. Does it matter that we lied about how we look?"
"Not really...does it matter to you?"
"Nahh..."


He yawned and looked around. And then at Uma. She didn't looked convinced.
He explained, "Look. Over the years of our conversations, you and I were as we are - stripped down to our bare, honest, truthful selves. I liked you then, I like you now. That virtual friendship has been more real than the ones I have had in the real world. I would like to keep it that way. I'd like to meet you again Uma, but in a world that we find comfortable and friendly. The world where we met. I want to see you again as the green dot that appears on my chat screen. That status that still makes my heart jump. I want to resume our lives from where we started of. There is nothing unreal about the web. For many years now, because of you, that has been my most valued reality."

She smiled and felt grateful. She felt she could spend the rest of her life with Mark in that chat box.

"And about all the lies we told each other?"
"Ha ha. For that I'd like to quote the famous Mr. Rhett Butler- Quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

The landing was smooth. They collected their belongings. Shook hands, looked at each other one last time and departed from separate exits.